Of Identities and Illusions
by Starbucks3894
Summary: A mysterious stranger shows up at Kendall's door one afternoon, and things start to spiral. Kendall can't get her out of his head, but his mom wants him to keep away. Answers are elusive, and emotions run rampant. Kendall/OC with a twist. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**OK, what to say, what to say... All the chapters in the story will be fairly short. This is kind of like an outlet. I really am not particularly bothered about reviews, especially for the beginning chapters, but if you'd like to give one, I would be grateful. This is an idea that came to me while I was watching Everybody Hates Chris while babysitting. So yeah. XD It was pretty fleeting, and interestingly enough, the middle chapters came to me before the beginning and end. I don't think that's ever happened. XD There will be eight or nine chapters, couldn't say which. Depends on the feedback. The ending could change too. Again, depending on feedback. ;)**

**And that's all. Please enjoy. **

Another normal day at the crib. Logan doing some bizarre experiment involving two window curtain rods and a can of creamed potato. James combing his hair in front of the mirror. Carlos trying to beat himself at dome hockey. And Kendall going through some old pre-BTR photos from good old Minnesota. Katie was down at the pool trying to sell quarters for a dollar, and Mrs. Knight was sitting in the kitchen with yet another new magazine she had subscribed to.

"Awww, guys, look at this one." Kendall held up a picture of a bunch of little boys in huge hockey uniforms. Carlos smiled fondly at it, abandoning his dome hockey conquest to come and get a closer look. James took one look at himself in the picture and said, "Uck." He went back to combing his hair.

Logan gave him a quizzical look. "Uck? 'Uck' what?"

James smiled at himself. "Uck, as in I was such a little fat kid back then." He flexed a sculpted bicep appreciatively, and shuddered. "How could I ever have eaten so many cheese puffs in one sitting? Just thinking about it now makes me want to..." He shuddered again.

Carlos laughed loudly. "Look at what I'm doing to Logan!"

Logan scrambled up and grabbed the photo. He spluttered. Then he glared at Carlos. "You're giving me devil horns?"

"Or bunny ears," Kendall observed.

"No," Logan corrected. "Bunny ears are straight, his fingers are curved at the outermost phalangial joint."

Mrs. Knight smiled into her tea. Carlos thumped Logan on the back of the head. Logan rubbed the sore spot gingerly.

"OK, I probably deserved that. I always forget. No anatomical references in casual conversation."

Carlos squirmed around happily in his seat. "We had so much fun back then."

"We have so much fun now," Logan added.

They all sighed. "Yeah."

A knock at the door brought them all out of their flashbacks. Mrs. Knight put up one finger and walked over to the small noise. She opened it.

Kendall saw something in her stiffen or grow numb. Like whoever she was seeing, she hadn't planned on seeing.

"Mom?" He walked up behind her.

Standing in the doorway was a girl. A young girl, couldn't have been much older than Kendall, with dark red hair and sea green eyes. Her facial features were hauntingly familiar. Kendall knew he had seen this girl somewhere before. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Mom, is... uh, everything OK?"

The girl's eyes had been glued to his mother's face, but the moment those words came out of his mouth, her attention was turned to him. There was something in her eyes so searching and deep, like she had finally found exactly what she was looking for, but couldn't quite believe her eyes.

Her lips began to form words. Mrs. Knight cut her off abruptly.

"Yes, Kendall everything's alright. This is just an old family friend. I'm going to take her into my bedroom and talk with her for a moment."

If this was an old family friend, Kendall wondered how his mom talked to her enemies.

She took the girl's arm, and led her away, up the stairs and through her bedroom door. The girl was looking at Kendall and then at his Mom and then at him again in hesitating succession. The door slammed shut behind them. Kendall was still standing by the open door.

"Shut that, would ya?" James asked.

"Oh, yeah. Sure."

He shut the door then went back to his photos.

"Who was she?" Logan asked him. "Old family friend? You recognize her?"

"No. She looked about our age, though. How much of an 'old' family friend could she really be?"

"I dunno." Logan shrugged. "But your mom looks like she can handle it. I wouldn't worry. I'm sure she'll tell you."

"Yeah..." But Kendall couldn't keep his eyes off of that door. He waited until he heard movement from behind it only a few minutes later.

Mrs. Knight strode out. She looked very angry. She was practically dragging the girl along behind her at breakneck speed. There was a sort of desperation in the girl's eyes that made Kendall want to comfort her.

"Well, I'm very happy for you, then, and enjoy your time here," Mrs. Knight said quickly, as she pushed the girl out of 2J.

The girl stood there in the hallway for a moment. Her bottom lip was shaking.

"But, I found you..." she whispered.

Mrs. Knight shut the door. She stayed faced away for a moment before turning towards them all with a false smile.

"So, who's up for dinner?"

"ME!" Carlos jumped out of his seat, and, in doing so, upset Logan's experiment.

"Hey!" Logan exclaimed, as creamed potato ran down the front of his shirt.

"Whoops. Sorry." Carlos shrugged. He didn't look terribly sorry.

Kendall barely heard the fight that inevitably ensued. His mind was on the red-head girl, and on why his mother would possibly be so heartless towards her. She had clearly been searching for something. Something that his mother had, but wouldn't give to her.

All Kendall knew, was that it had better have been important. He didn't think he could ever bear to have to watch so much pain in a pair of human eyes again.

**Thank you! Til Chapter 2!**

**xoxoxo**

**~Starbucks**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's a quick little update, just for you. ;) Enjoy! **

"Hey Kendall. Isn't that the girl who dropped by your house the other day?" Logan gestured, sipping his smoothie.

Kendall whirled around. There she was, sitting in an over sized white t-shirt by the pool.

"Yeah, that's her."

"That's who?" He turned to see Jo looking at him suspiciously.

"A family friend who dropped by 2J the a couple of days ago."

Logan gave him the, "nice recovery, captain smooth" gesture. Kendall smiled.

"Oh." Jo looked surprised. "Well, we should go over and say hi."

"We should." He really had wanted to go alone, but he couldn't object very strongly to this proposition. Jo dragged him over to where the red-head girl was sitting.

"Hi!" Jo said brightly. The girl jumped. She slid a book underneath her. Kendall couldn't catch the title.

"Oh hi." She smiled a little weakly at Jo, then caught Kendall's eye. Her smile was more sad towards him. There was that look again, slightly desperate, slightly questioning, really hopeless. Kendall would have hugged her for a while if Jo hadn't been there.

"Are you new?" Jo asked.

"Yes."

"What do you do? Sing, act?"

"I'm a dancer."

"Oh! That's really cool! What kind of dancing do you do?"

"I do ballet."

"That's really cool! Can you curl your feet like the ballerinas?" Jo smiled at her warmly.

The girl laughed. It was a tired laugh, but it contained a certain amount of mirth. "Yes, I can."

"Awesome. Oh and hey, we're all going to the beach for bonfire tonight. Would you want to come?"

The girl stopped. "No, I don't think so. Not tonight. I'm pretty tired. Minnesota is a long way to fly from."

Kendall perked right up. Minnesota? So his mom must have known her!

He caught her eye. Man, her eyes... they were so... gorgeous and deep and...

Kendall sighed. Jo elbowed him in the ribs. With the breath knocked out of him, he obviously missed the signal on her face. He was too busy rubbing his chest to pay attention to the hopeful looks she was darting his way.

"Well, then, maybe you can come next time," Jo said cheerily.

"Yeah." Marguerite smiled. "Thanks so much. Really."

"You're welcome! I guess I'll see ya around."

"OK, yeah. See ya around."

Jo turned and began walking away. Kendall walked away with her. But not without looking back one more time.

"Goodbye. Kendall," he heard her say quietly.

He got that uncharacteristically strong electric current running up his arms when he locked eyes with her. In fact, he was finding it extremely difficult to look away from them.

Man, her eyes were gorgeous. He didn't think he had ever seen eyes so beautiful.

Jo began talking to him about food for the bonfire, and he was called back to reality with a solid tug. He sighed. Reality had never felt so empty. The reality where those green green eyes weren't.

**Like I said. Short chapters. I'm trying to venture out of my little comfort zone and write stuff that normally wouldn't pass the Starbucks perfection test. And this definitely would never have. XD**

**Thank you SO much for reading! It means the world to me that I still have readers who enjoy my stories after all this time. :)**

**xoxoxo**

**~Starbucks**


	3. Chapter 3

He ran into her a few times in the next week. They never really talked, and Kendall was tired of beating around the bush. He wanted to know more about her, and about why he was so interesting to her. Most of all, though, he wanted to know why he felt such an obvious connection towards a girl he hadn't known a week and a half ago.

He tried to catch Marguerite in the lobby, on the street, by the pool, anywhere he thought he could have a conversation with her. She seemed more than willing when he did catch her, but his mother or one of the guys seemed to conveniently swoop in right when he was getting to the important questions.

Finally, he remembered it was a Friday after school and recording, he couldn't stand the questions running around inside his head. He couldn't stand the fact that these feelings he had for this girl ran far deeper than just interest, and he couldn't stand that his mother was clearly not telling him something important. He was sure he had known this girl. Sometime, somewhere in his past. And he wanted to find out where.

"Marguerite."

She turned towards him and smiled. Kendall felt his heart beat a little faster.

"So, I haven't even been able to talk to you that much since that day with Jo."

"I know." She shifted uncomfortably.

"Do you want to go for a walk or something?"

She smiled again. "I'd like that."

* * *

They started out in silence. Then she spoke up.

"How long have you been here? In L.A. I mean."

"Oh, maybe a year. A little less."

"Cool. And you like it here?"

"Yeah, I do. It's home to me. I wouldn't even dream of going back."

She looked away from him.

He realized Minnesota probably meant a lot to her. "Oh, not that Minnesota wasn't amazing! I'll always remember it. But Hollywood is my home now, and I do love it here."

She looked at him sideways. " I get it. City of fame and lights, so many stars you'll never need to be afraid of the dark. It's magical."

"Yeah, exactly. It's just the atmosphere, I guess."

"Yeah."

They walked along in silence. They were about a mile and a half out when Kendall spoke again.

"How long are you staying?"

"I don't really know. I was planning on staying for a while, but I don't really see a point anymore..."

Her voice went quieter towards the end, and Kendall had to strain to hear her.

"No point? What do you mean?"

She looked as if she hadn't meant for him to hear. She smiled a little artificially. "Nothing. It's nothing."

Kendall didn't believe her. But he figured it would be best to not push her farther than she wanted to go. So he let it drop. They continued walking, talking about different things, not really listening, just talking for the sake of hearing each other.

He found out that Marguerite had been a ballerina since she was three years old. She had trained to live the life of a dancer, and it was all she knew. Kendall could see those 13 years of training showing in the way she walked and ran. It was like she was floating on nothing. She didn't need to touch the ground. But she did for tradition's sake. She was like a flower petal on the surface of the water. Not quite part of the earth, not quite part of the sky.

They were crossing the street to go back to the Palm Woods. Kendall stepped out into the street, his eyes on Marguerite, not really paying a whole lot of attention. He saw the look on her face at something that was beyond him, in the road. Her hand groped for his and pulled him harshly back onto the sidewalk, just as Kendall heard a bus horn honking and felt the whoosh of air that slammed against him, all too close.

He realized that he had almost died. That bus would have run him down. He couldn't dwell on it, though, because Marguerite was still holding his hand and there was such a current flowing between them, that his arm shook. He wondered if her arm shaking meant that she was feeling it too.

"I'm- uh, I-"

"-should learn to look both ways before you cross the street." She grinned shakily at him.

"You saved..."

"I didn't. It was luck, that's all."

She looked across the street. No cars. She pulled him along running across the street.

They stepped together into the lobby, and only then did she drop his hand. Jo was walking towards them.

"Hey Kendall." She kissed him on the lips. He got that feeling he always got when he was around Jo, of euphoria and bliss. He could have stayed forever in that feeling.

But he realized they weren't alone, and that Marguerite was watching them. So it was cut short.

"Hey Marguerite," Jo greeted. "Where were you guys, I've been looking forever." Her tone was casual, but there was something a little accusatory in her voice.

"We were just walking. I was showing Marguerite all the places to hang out."

"Ah. Well, I hate to steal him from you Marguerite..."

"Oh it's no problem. I have to head down to the studio anyway. Dance practice, you know?"

"Oh yeah! Well, have fun! Practice hard." Jo gave her a hug and walked away. She turned when she realized that Kendall wasn't with her.

"Kendall? Comin'?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." He turned towards Marguerite. "Well, I'll see you around, I guess."

"Yeah," she replied rather breathlessly. "See you."

He turned away. But then he turned back. He knew he was being bold, but he didn't care. He needed time with her.

"Can I come down and see you at the studio sometime? I mean, just to watch."

She smiled. "Thought you'd never ask. Anytime you want. Just come down. Bring your lovely girlfriend too, if you want."

Translation: Don't bring Jo.

"OK, I will. I'll see ya later, Marguerite."

"Bye." She walked to the elevator, and pressed the up button. She waved and smiled one more time before the doors closed in front of her petite frame.

Jo sidled up to him. "Well, she seems like a joy. She's beautiful too."

"Yeah."

"Kendall-"

"Jo, I love you, OK? Let's not go through this again. We need to trust each other."

She contemplated him for a moment. "Were you really showing her the neighborhood?"

"I was. Really and truly. I wouldn't lie to you."

She smiled at him. "OK, I know. I'm just..." She rubbed her eyes. "On edge or something, I guess."

"Well, let's make that better then, shall we?"

They did what they normally did on Friday afternoons. Eat, swim, talk, kiss. But Kendall couldn't think about anything but going down to the studio. He was sure he would find time tomorrow.

**Review and give me your thoughts! Predictions? Questions? I love them all. ;)**

**xxoo**

**~Starbucks**


	4. Chapter 4

**Next chapter! For those of you who are following regularly, enjoy, and I promise that this chapter, though short, will not disappoint. :) For those of you who are just now realizing I exist, I hope you like it! It makes me so happy when I can give people something entertaining to read. ;) And don't forget to review and tell me what you think of it so far! **

"Where ya going?"

Kendall turned around again to see Jo staring at him complacently. Man, he wished that expression could stay on her face. He knew it would be replaced by suspicion.

"I'm going to see Marguerite. She asked me to come and-"

"Kendall..."

"Jo, I'm not doing anything! She doesn't have any friends, and I feel, I dunno, I feel kinda sorry for her. Believe me, she is nothing more than a charity case." These words stung his heart, because he had promised they would be completely honest with each other. And he knew those words were anything but truthful.

Jo looked at him for a long time. Then she sighed and shrugged. "I suppose I can't stop your heart from being as big and warm as it is. Go and hang out with her. But please make sure that you..." She walked up to Kendall and pecked him on the lips. "Make sure that you stay mine, OK?"

Kendall smiled when he kissed her again. "I will. Always and forever." He patted her hand before walking away.

He had to catch a bus to the studio, because it was too far to walk, and Logan couldn't drive him. When he was let off at his stop, he was surprised that he hadn't ever been to this part of the city. He would find his way, though. Marguerite had given him the address, and he had gone over it too many times in his head to get it wrong.

Plus, it was pretty hard to miss.

Amid all the steel and chrome of an industrialized city was a huge structure of wood, glass, and brick. Ivy climbed the walls, and niches with stained glass artistry shone colors on the pavement of the large parking lot to the right._ The Los Angeles Dance Academy_ stood out in curling calligraphic letters on the front of a very old-world looking building with stone step ways and wrought iron latticework. A fountain tinkled merrily beside Kendall as he pulled open the clean glass door.

It took him a little bit to get his bearings. There were so many people when he first walked in, the majority of them girls as old or perhaps a bit younger than Kendall himself. Some of the girls spied him standing there like an idiot and giggled. He blushed profusely. But ever confident, he strode up to one who looked intelligent.

"Hey, does Marguerite Jacque practice in this building?"

The girl beamed at him. Her hands then proceeded to flash and turn and spin in a dizzying way. He realized she was doing sign language.

He tried to make his words as clear as possible. Maybe she could read lips. "Is Marguerite here?"

The girl threw her head back, and smiled, though Kendall knew it would have been a laugh if she had had her voice.

Another girl rushed up to the other girl's side just then, quite breathless.

"Lacy, class is already almost half way over, where have you-" She then caught Kendall's eye.

"Oh!" She just stared for a moment. Kendall was very aware that he was the only male of his age in the entire room.

"Is Marguerite Jacque here?"

The girl smiled at him. "Yes, she helps to teach my class. I'll take you there, if you like."

"Thank you," Kendall replied gratefully.

He followed her down a hallway as she dragged the deaf girl behind her. When they got to a polished cherry wood door propped open, Kendall stopped. Should he go in? Would Marguerite think it was weird? Would he feel out of place? Dozens of teenage girls gawking at him, it didn't sound very appealing.

But he didn't have time to decide what he would most like to do as the girl called Lacy grabbed his hand just as her friend dragged her through the door.

Kendall was immediately bathed in the light of sunset. The room was large and had no furnishings except a mirror hanging over the entire right wall and a few bars about waist height off the floor. But the really amazing thing about this room was one entire wall was nothing but glass. The entire street stretched out only yards from Kendall's feet, and the beach was visible as a hazy blue strip in the distance. Kendall could do little but stare, until something even more beautiful diverted his attention.

Marguerite had her own bar in front of the huge window. She was dressed in a baggy black t-shirt, and very small gray heather shorts. She had black ballet shoes on, and her hair was fastened into a loose undone bun. The sunlight made her seem as if she was glowing, and her eyes were filled with a happy contentment. Those green eyes Kendall could get lost in so easily.

The girls jerked him out of his Marguerite induced daydream. They were whispering and giggling. Kendall sat down on the floor in a corner, where he had a direct view of Marguerite. He waved to the girls. They waved back and twirled their ponytails.

"Girls, come on and focus." Marguerite swung her leg up onto the bar and slid her arms down to her feet, curving her back into a smooth arch. The other girls followed her moves exactly. They went through a number of other cool down moves. But Kendall had eyes for no-one but her. She was graceful and perfect, and Kendall knew he shouldn't be looking at her like this, but he felt like he almost couldn't help it. If you're faced with something beautiful, so beautiful everything around it feels dim and pointless, wouldn't you just want to stare? He knew his love for Jo, but he also knew he couldn't trust himself if he was alone with this girl. He would lose his self control. The feeling that she was as right for him as could be, like they were two halves of the exact same story. One couldn't be without the other.

He was called back to reality when the other ballerinas started to pile out of the studio. He watched the back of Lacy and her friend disappear through the now open door. Some of the girls chatted for a bit, but in the end, him and Marguerite were alone in the lessening radiance of twilight.

When he had risen to his feet, he walked over to her. She was faced away. But he could still hear every breath that escaped her lips.

"Hi, Kendall," she breathed. She turned to face him. "I didn't think you'd come."

"Well, I wouldn't pass this up. You were... absolutely perfect. I never knew ballet could be so amazing to watch."

She smiled. "And you only watched the cool down."

"I know!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. She laughed.

"C'mon. Let's get home."

"OK." She took his outstretched hand and they walked away, back to the Palm Woods.

They parted in the lobby, where Kendall could feel he was being watched. He turned around once he was alone, and was surprised to see Katie standing looking at him. He walked over to her.

"Hey, baby sister."

"Mom wants to talk to you."

He was taken aback. "OK, that's not really an appropriate greeting, but I guess I'll just-"

"Have you been with that Marguerite girl again?"

"Yes, I have. Is there a problem?"

"You know Mom doesn't want you to."

"Katie, is there a point to all this?"

"I dunno. I would do what my MOM wanted me to do, but I guess you're old enough to decide."

"Katie what's going on?"

"Just go talk to Mom."

So he did.

"Mom, I'm home!" He threw down his bag and faced the living room.

His mother was standing, looking out of the window with a dazed expression. At his voice though, she turned suddenly.

"Hey baby." She smiled, but she looked sad. "Sit down, I wanna talk to you."

He sat down, thoroughly bewildered.

"Kendall, I know that you've been spending a lot of time with that girl lately."

"Mom, I need to know why that's bad. Please, just tell me. Don't try to avoid it."

"Kendall, can't you respect the fact that I'm your mother and I don't want you to hang out with her?"

"I would like a reason. I like her a lot and I-"

"No, you CAN'T!" his mother almost shouted. She rose to her feet, breathing heavily and choking a little on a lump in her throat. She turned to him, and her eyes were filled with tears.

"Kendall, she is a part of my past I don't want to relive. Please, I don't want you to know her. Forget about her."

His mother was begging him to forget Marguerite. How did this ever happen?

"But I-"

"Please..." She buried her face in his shoulder. "Please baby..."

Her patted her shoulder. His heart was standing still with shock. He had only seen his mother cry once, when she had told him about his father, and all the pain he had caused.

"Mom, OK, I won't. Just don't cry..."

She stayed in his arms, shaking with sobs. He wondered what on earth can Marguerite mean to her that just the thought of her son hanging out with her makes her cry?

"Promise me."

His throat closed up. Could he do it? Promise to forget that beautiful part of his life so newly found?

He swallowed and banished the thought of those eyes from his mind.

"I promise."

**It's taking off now, huh? ;)**

**Review! Tell me what you think is gonna happen. Remember... you readers are the REAL important ones when it comes to a story. ^^**

**Love you guys!**

**xoxoxo**

**~Starbucks**


	5. Chapter 5

**Short and to the point. Just like I wanted. :) Thanks to surfergal23 for reviewing every chapter! ;) And be sure to check out her fics in-progress Hooked and Making Things Right. Both are completely epic. **

**Read on and enjoy!**

"And a large thunderstorm is headed our way, so be prepared folks. Looks like winds at 75 miles per hour, so some power lines may be vulnerable..."

The thunderstorm warnings were on every channel, and Kendall was beginning to get nervous. Carlos was already surrounded by pillows and blankets under the dome hockey table. Logan was looking up the Apocalypse on Wikipedia. And James was eating as many fish sticks as he could before Katie put them away.

"Get ready..." Carlos said, jittery with frightened anticipation.

Logan groaned. "Carlos-"

"Just leave him alone. He does this every time." Katie walked up and plopped down on the floor next to Carlos.

They all sat down in the living room, even though it was already 10 o' clock. All of them thought perhaps they had better wait it out together, and not separate into their respective bedrooms.

Kendall was laying in the dim light of the table lamp when he heard the first sheets of rain descend on the Palm Woods. Carlos was asleep, thank God, but Logan looked towards the window nervously.

"When do you think it will-" Logan started. A reasonably loud clap of thunder interrupted him.

"Yeah, I think the time is now, my friend." Kendall went over to the window.

"Hey, hey! You're supposed to stay away from windows!"

Kendall chuckled, but stepped away to humor his friend. He could hear the wind start up.

"It'll be a few minutes before we lose power..." Logan hugged his knees to himself.

"I'll get the flashlights."

Kendall walked away to the closet to get the flashlights and the batteries. He was just finished switching on and off all of them to test them when the lights flickered. He glanced apprehensively at the light above him. It went off.

"Kendall?" Logan's voice called. "Got the flashlights?"

"Yup, comin'." He shook the batteries around a little in the flashlights, then went back to the living room. He tossed one to Logan, then set five more down on the couch. He grabbed one of them, and went to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go check on Jo."

"She's probably asleep."

"I'm still gonna check on her."

"OK. I think I'll go to Camille. Just to make sure. She gets dramatic during storms."

Kendall laughed. "Yeah, sure. Like you don't just wanna go and watch her while she's sleeping."

"I don't!"

Kendall looked at him skeptically. Logan shuffled.

"Well, so what if I do?"

Kendall smiled. "You have a key?"

"Yup." Logan patted his chest. Kendall knew he had it on a chain around his neck. Kendall usually kept Jo's in his pocket. He checked to make sure he had it, then he walked out the door, Logan close behind.

They parted when Kendall got to the fourth floor door taking the stairs. He bid Logan farewell, then stepped through the door.

It was pitch black. Kendall shone his flashlight on the doors until he saw 4G. He put his key in, and slid inside.

Jo was laying on the couch, clearly asleep from the deep sound of her breathing. The lightening illuminated her beautiful face for a fraction of a second. But it was enough to make Kendall walk over and place a tiny kiss on her lips. She stirred, and smiled. Kendall smiled with her.

He closed the curtains before he left her, satisfied that she would be fine until she woke. He closed the door softly, and padded back towards the stairs.

A flash of lightening suddenly forked across the sky. In that brief moment, Kendall realized where he was. In front of a door. 4C. He gulped. Marguerite's room.

His thoughts waged war against each other, as he contemplated whether or not to make sure she was alright as well. His heart was screaming at him to knock on that door. His heart was screaming at him that no, he hadn't been able to forget about her, and he never would be able to. But his logic, his mind, and his integrity told him that he had promised, he had promised to never think of her again. To never hang out with her, to distance himself from her as much as possible.

He would regret it if he knocked. Marguerite was alone, and the temptation would be strong.

But he didn't care. He knocked three times softly.

Shuffling came to his ears from just inside. The flickering light under the door was blocked out in two places, where feet were standing. The door inched open.

Marguerite stood there in yet another huge t-shirt, this one black and reaching to mid thigh. He didn't look her in the eye. Guilt got the better of him.

"Hey," he mumbled.

A deep breath. "Hi."

He chanced a look at her face. It was tired and depressed, and the radiance of her inner light was extinguished. There was no sign of that hopeful girl, and that look of adventure in those green eyes. Kendall briefly recalled that he hadn't spoken to her in weeks. He was more than sorry for it.

"Do you wanna come in?"

Did he want to? Yes. His mind was screaming, _"No, no, no, no!"_ But he nodded, and stepped inside after her.

It was all lit up by candles on every surface. That's how he knew she hadn't been sleeping. There wasn't a sound to be heard. That's how he knew she had come alone to a strange city. And his heart was hammering in his throat. That's how he knew something was about to happen.

She sat down Indian style on the floor by a beige couch. He joined her, not sitting too close, for fear she would set off some electric reaction in him.

"So..."

He heard her take a deep shuddering breath. She was crying, fat silent tears that simply wouldn't stop.

He didn't touch her. Didn't dare move.

She looked at him. "Where have you been?" she asked.

He tried to ignore the tears, tried to harden his heart. But he couldn't do it. He wrapped his arms around her thin shaking frame, and held her tight. He could feel her body fold into him like they were two halves of the same charm, and her breath came hot and slow against his neck. He shivered.

"I'm sorry. I would have come, I really would've. You have no idea how much I wanted to."

"Then why didn't you?"

He had never anticipated having to tell her any of this. He looked away from her face, and into the hot white center of a candle flame.

"I just..." How could he even begin to explain.

"Never leave me again. It's been so hard without you."

He almost died of joy. Never had he had someone say that it had been hard without him. He knew in that moment, that he would never find anything like what he and Marguerite had. He would never find a feeling so precious. Not with Jo, not with any other girl he ever met. The currents were coursing through his veins when he leaned away from her, when his eyes met hers.

When he leaned back in to kiss her.

Their lips met.

For a brief moment, Kendall wondered if he would ever feel this good again. The feeling soon subsided though. To be replaced by utter confusion.

She wasn't kissing back. He could feel how shocked her lips were. He could feel that she really hadn't wanted this.

Something in the back of Kendall's mind was yelling at him to stop. His mind was cringing, and his sense of fidelity was smashed into pieces. Everything he knew to be right and good had flown out the window. And in only moments, something that had seemed to desirable, seemed so amazingly, horribly wrong.

He drew back quickly. Her tears were dried on her face, wide eyes reflecting his own shocked expression back at him. What had just happened?

"I-"

"You had better go."

He stood up quickly. He fairly ran for the door, not bothering to shut it behind him. His ears were still ringing with the frantic beating of his heart. He tore down the stairs and down the second floor hall. Into the apartment, and up the stairs, crashing onto his own bed. He was vaguely thankful that Logan hadn't been back to question him. He was happy that the guys hadn't been awake to ask what was wrong.

But it wasn't happiness or thankfulness that made Kendall Knight cry himself to sleep.

**Review! Tell me your thoughts! I love hearing from you guys! ;)**

**xoxoxo**

**~Starbucks**


	6. Chapter 6

**Revelations, revelations. ;) Enjoy!**

He woke up the next morning to clear blue skies peeking at him from the spaces in the blinds. He lay there, dejected. He wasn't sure if he ever wanted to get up again.

How had he been wrong? He had expected to feel bliss in that kiss. But he had felt like there was nothing in the world he could do that could have been so dishonorable, so not what he had wanted.

He loved Marguerite so much. He knew that from the feeling he always got when he was around her. He always felt better when she was near. Then there was a weird thing where he always knew what she was thinking. He had gotten to a point where he could've finished sentences for her. They transmitted feelings between them, like the night before. She had been crying, and Kendall felt inordinately sad, for no reason. Of course, it was no picnic to watch her cry, but he felt like he had something else to be sad over. Something he couldn't quite explain. A loss of some kind. Like there was a person he was missing, and for a reason he couldn't figure out.

He realized that he would never get anywhere with any of this if he stayed laying in bed. He dragged himself to his feet, and walked out the door.

Everyone was up and moving. But they all silenced when Kendall slid out of the swirly slide.

He sat down at the table. The stove was working, which meant the power was back on. He didn't really care, though.

James lay a hand on his shoulder. The touch was comforting.

"Hey man. Why didn't you lay back down in the living room?"

He shrugged. James' hand fell away from his shoulder.

"So how was Jo?" Logan asked.

"Fine. Asleep. How was Camille?"

"Fine. Awake," Logan laughed. "She wouldn't let me leave for a looooong time."

"Wouldn't LET you?" Carlos smirked. "You sure it wasn't a mutual feeling?"

Logan blushed profusely as James and Katie howled with laughter. But Kendall stayed quiet.

After a little while, they stopped. Logan glanced curiously at Kendall.

"You alright? Did anything else happen last night?"

Yet another knife was sent rocketing into Kendall's heart. Why did he feel like they would never understand if he told them?

He gulped. No time like the present. He would have to spill it eventually.

"I stopped at Marguerite's to check on her."

Katie's sharp intake of breath told him how much she disapproved. Kendall could've glared. But he took a deep breath, and continued.

"I just was worried about her, and I wanted to make sure she was OK. She's all alone, and I felt so guilty just passing her by."

"You should've," Katie mumbled. James elbowed her lightly in the ribs.

Logan cleared his throat. "So, you checked on her. How was she?"

"She was..." A picture of Marguerite popped up unbidden in his mind. The candlelight made her look like an angel, and thinking about her after what had happened last night made him feel rather warm.

He shook his head to rid it of these mental pictures, and resumed his explanation. He found his voice had left him, and his hands shook.

He knew if his mom found out that he would feel even worse.

Fate has a horrible sense of humor. His mother walked out just then in her robe and slippers, looking drowsy, but keen on her surroundings, like always. Kendall's mind tripped over the train of thought spinning around inside of it.

Katie looked to Mrs. Knight, and looked as if she really would like to tattle. James saw this look, and promptly pulled her away, hand over her mouth, up the stairs and into her room.

Big brothers who are also best friends are a pest sometimes. But at least they're good at getting rid of little sisters.

Logan saw the look in Carlos' eye. Like he had no idea what was going on, and would react quite strongly when it took a turn for the worse. So Logan dragged Carlos away, out of the apartment, claiming they were going for some Fruit Smackers. Mrs. Knight scratched her head after them.

"Fruit Smackers? At nine thirty in the morning?"

Carlos briefly looked as if he was wagging a non-existent tail. Then he and Logan disappeared around the door jamb. Kendall was alone with his mom in the kitchen.

She kissed his forehead. "Morning, baby. How did you sleep?"

He hadn't. "Fine," he lied.

She nodded, and calmly set about to toasting a bagel.

He couldn't take it. He had never been good at keeping secrets, least of all from his mom. He stood up and walked over to her hesitantly.

"Mom?"

"Hm," she mumbled incoherently, poring over a magazine article.

"Why do you- I mean, why are you... what's wrong with me hanging out with Marguerite?"

Her tea cup spilled all over her magazine. But she didn't make a move.

After Kendall started mopping it up, she sighed. "I thought we'd been over this."

"We have." He threw the rag into a laundry basket at the end of the room. "But I was just wondering."

"Why?" she asked.

He made sure she was looking him in the eye. "Because I like Marguerite. She's fun to be around. And I always feel happier with her." He was practically spilling his guts right now, and he knew his mom didn't want to hear this, but it had to be said if Kendall were ever to have his heart properly sorted out.

She buried her face in her hands. Kendall couldn't tell if she was crying or not.

After a little while of silence, she raised her head. Her expression was of defeat and sadness.

"You like her? Why do you like her?"

He shrugged. Then he stopped. "Well, she always knows how to make me feel better. She knows what I like, and she likes it too, and we have loads of fun. She's a great dancer, and she's beautiful and I don't know if what I'm feeling is right, but I know I'm feeling... something."

His mother walked over to the window. He could tell she was in a thoughtful mood. She wasn't angry. Which was a relief.

Kendall was expecting her to explain. Something that would make it all a little clearer. Who was Marguerite and how did his mother know her? Had Kendall met her before, a long long time ago? Why was there such a connection between them when Kendall had never remembered seeing her before in his life?

He was beginning to get frustrated. He ran his fingers through his hair hastily. "Mom, who is she? I know you know her."

His mother did not turn.

"Look, Mom. I really need some answers here! Please, just tell me what you know!"

She remained turned away.

"Mom, I_ kissed_ her! I need to know if that was a mistake!"

Obviously he should've said that to begin with. The look on his mother's face was almost horrified if not haunted.

"You... _what_?"

"I didn't know who she was!"

He hoped and prayed that she had just been an old family "friend". He was hoping that "family" wasn't anywhere in the equation. He gulped.

His mother was still standing near him. Her eyes were distant and anxious, and her hands were twisting and untwisting in a nervous twitching sort of way. She looked so worried. Whoever Marguerite was, she was definitely more than Kendall had believed.

"Mom."

She looked at him with eyes bordering on brimming over.

"Is she a relative?" He didn't want to even live knowing he had maybe kissed his cousin. On the lips. Shivers traveled up and down his spine.

His mother sat down on a chair. She rubbed her temples, the tears running freely now.

"She's not just your relative."

Kendall's breath hitched in his throat.

Mother's and son's eyes met.

"She's your twin."

**Review, sil vous plait.**

**xoxoxoxo**

**~Starbucks**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey. No I didn't die. I'm hopefully going to be up to my usual speed again soon. :) **

**I'm not sure how many more chapters there'll be for this one. Maybe two or three. Expect a very abrupt and possibly sad ending.**

**Sorry.**

**:P**

**Read on.**

He was so sure he had misheard her, he didn't say anything. Maybe she had been expecting him to. He felt like he was sleepwalking, and for a moment, he wondered if he wasn't dreaming. The fact of the previous statement made him simply want to laugh out loud. He had kissed the girl for God's sake! You don't kiss your sister, even if you don't know... that she's your sister? It sounded even lamer in his head.

Mrs. Knight stood staring at nothing outside the window. "I knew it from that first time she came to the door. I could see it in her eyes. She was so happy. She had found us. And I turned her away. Why did I turn her away...?" she whispered. Kendall heard the tears in her voice, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He had never likes to see women cry, especially his own mother and sister. Not that there had been much occasion for the latter to, but you get the point.

He winced when she turned around to look at him full on. There was no masking the look in her eyes. She clearly regretted the decision made sixteen years ago, but there was a determination in her eyes that Kendall didn't often see. He could feel the facts sink in as he sat there, unable to do much but stare back. This was happening, but this couldn't be real... The pure revelation of the fact felt like a two-ton weight crashing onto his shoulders.

And with that two-ton weight, came confusion to replace the shock, and anger to take the place of denial. She looked at the floor, unable to meet the slightly accusing, slightly uncomprehending look of her son. Her hand fluttered to her lips. "And she had grown up to be so beautiful, too."

Somehow that statement faded very slowly. It was the only thing that was spoken between them for a while.

He finally found out how to speak again. His thirst for answers kept his tongue moving. "How can that be?" was all he asked. It was the only thing he could think of that would even remotely tell him what he needed to know.

Mrs. Knight sat down across from him. She folded her hands in her lap, looked up at him, and smiled, even through the mass of sadness in her eyes.

"I should've known that I would never be able to keep any secrets from you, huh Kenny? No, you were never the type I could hide from."

He barely heard her. "But- but, we don't even look alike!" he stammered.

However, he knew the answer to his own question the moment he had asked it.

"You were paternal twins," his mother told him. "You look like your Dad. And she looks like me."

Kendall hated to admit it, but on closer inspection of the picture he held of Marguerite in his heart, he knew it was true. A younger version of his mother, with a few differences. That was Marguerite.

He had nothing left to say. He merely sat there, tried to ignore the growing monster of despair in his heart, and waited for an explanation.

She took a deep breath. "When I got pregnant with you, it ...wasn't just with you. The day your dad left..." She stopped. Her voice trailed off, and he knew she was thinking of his father, who had left and come back to his family three times before he was killed by a drunk driver. The story always made Kendall sad. He had even cried a little when he was younger. But Kendall hadn't been old enough to remember his father very well, and Mr. Knight was the last think Kendall needed on his mind right then.

He looked up, unaware that he had been fiddling with his fingers to avoid looking at his mom. She was observing him, with a slight frown on her face. She picked up her thread of conversation again with, "The day he left the first time, I found out I was pregnant. A few months later, I found out it was twins."

Kendall just sat there, trying to absorb this wealth of information that had been kept from him for so long. His father faded. The memories that he might've had with Marguerite took his place. His mother's voice barely kept up with his train of thought. She drifted in and out of what he could perceive, but he listened to every word, no matter how foggy.

"Alone, no job... I didn't know how I would possibly take care of twins. How I could. I made a difficult decision. One that was painful, so painful, but one that I felt was the only real solution."

"You put her up for adoption," Kendall said suddenly, finding tears in his own eyes. He wiped them away frustratedly, because he had been doing fine before he had to voice the outcome out loud. It sounded like some kind of soap opera. Long lost daughter and sister. But more than that. A lie, kept very well for too long, from all the wrong people.

"Yes. It was immensely difficult. You have no idea... I was so young, still so naive.." She let out a strained laugh. "I thought I knew everything. I thought that since I gave the baby to someone I knew, a classmate of all people, that she would be taken care of. I thought I would be able to dodge the guilt. I thought I could live my life as a single mother with a beautiful baby boy and not a care in the world." Her eyes went distant, and he knew she could see high school and the restaurant where she had gotten that much needed job. She could see home, and a more carefree age.

He knew what it must have been like for her. He understood her decision, or the skeleton of it. But for some reason, he still couldn't figure out why she would've done it. Why she would give up a baby. She could've made it work. He forgave her enough, but he couldn't ignore that he knew he would've done anything to keep his own baby. Worked two jobs, gone to family for help, gotten government aid, anything. His teenage mind told him, if he had been in a similar position, he would've made a very different decision.

She him holding back words he needed to say for Marguerite. His eyes told her "yes, I forgive you, but why would you do it?" and it was too much for her. Her defensive instinct, the instinct to not regret the decision she had made, kicked in. If she began with all the "what ifs", she would never live it down. Ever. Her life would be empty, even with two amazing children. She would always need the third.

"I had no other choice."

Kendall looked away, knowing the lie for what it was. Maybe he was being selfish and harsh, but at that moment, the pain of one lost forever and found again overtook any sense of affection her had ever had for his mom. It would die down later, but then, the pain was all he felt.

She went on. "I would never have aborted, and I had nowhere to turn. My family was back in Arizona, and they wouldn't have helped me even if I asked them. They still couldn't forgive me for marrying your dad. I did the only thing I knew how to at 25. I tried to make concessions, Kendall. I tried to compromise! I tried to think of a way to keep you both, I did, I did..." She buried her face in her hands. Kendall didn't hug her. He didn't comfort her. He sat cold as stone, the world spinning out of control around him.

He had a sister, a twin, he had never known about, that Katie had never known about! Kendall went white when he thought about Katie. How could he ever tell her? He slumped forward in his seat, and asked a final question. His voice was muffled through his hands, and his throat was thick with exhaustion. "Was it hard? Giving her up?"

When she didn't reply he raised his face. She locked eyes with him immediately before answering, "More than you will ever know."

Kendall stood up abruptly. "Then why did you send her away? That first day, you wanted nothing to do with her! You want her now, but not then? Or do you still plan on keeping her a safe distance away?"

"I thought that part of my life was behind me, Kendall! I thought I could just forget about it. I WISH I could forget about it! I never wanted it back!"

"Because it would hurt too much or because you're afraid of what she'll think of you? Are you afraid of her, Mom?"

She sighed. the tears spilling over her cheeks without a sound. "Oh Kendall. She was always my biggest fear."

He shuffled his feet, feeling sympathy towards this poor little broken creature, thin shoulders trembling. He felt like she wasn't his mom, but someone else, a stranger. The strong, mighty single mother bit was over, Her wondered if this is what she looked like the times he had heard her cry herself to sleep, all those years ago, when Katie was in diapers, and the loss of a father was fresh in Kendall's mind. He wondered... had she cried for Marguerite?

All the logical aspects of this mystery had been brought to light. So why did he feel like there were a billion more questions that lay unanswered? Why did he feel like there were a million more bridges still to be burned?

"Dana must have told her about me. Why I don't know..." Mrs. Knight's voice jolted him out of his thoughts.

"Who's Dana?" he asked dazedly.

"The classmate I gave Karmindee to."

It has slipped out without her even noticing it. Karmindee. She meant Marguerite of course. But Karmindee... it rolled off the tongue and made Kendall feel very safe. Very loved. It reminded him of darkness and bubbles, and dreams where he had been half of a whole.

"I should call her. I'll call Dana." His mother stood up finally and reached for the phone.

"What about Marguerite?" Kendall asked.

His mother stopped and faced him. She walked over and pressed lips to his hair. "I'm so sorry Kendall," she whispered.

He barely nodded, gulping down tears. She took the phone into her bedroom, and left Kendall alone. In the quiet of an empty apartment. Alone with his thoughts. And as much as that would have comforted him in any other situation, he felt like they were terrorizing him. He wanted out of his own mind.

But when we are created, our mind is always and forever our most constant companion. Kendall knew he couldn't get out. So he cried. He let the tears cascade down his cheeks til his eyes felt dry and his back ached. He didn't feel much better. He lay down, and closed his eyes.

How could he possibly make amends for a deed done at birth? How could he keep one he loved close to him like he was supposed to? How could him and Marguerite become two halves of a joined whole once again?

**xoxo**

**~Starbucks**


	8. Chapter 8

**So, no reviews last chapter. But I'm OK with it. I'm skipped out for too long, I guess. I just gotta get this story finished! It's holding me down. XD**

If there was one thing Marguerite had hated about her life, it was that confusing feeling. She had random pangs shoot up through her heart when she was happy, for no reason. One time, when she had been at a funeral, her heart had suddenly felt light and airy, like nothing could bring it down. These random changes in mood had nothing to do with being bipolar or anything. They were purely accidental, and the doctors had nothing to say except make sure you get your eight hours of sleep.

It had always angered her a little, feeling happy when she was supposed to be sad, and vice versa. The feelings happened at the oddest times. Once in a while, or very frequently, they would show up and show her no mercy. She couldn't catch a break.

These feelings intensified day by day. When she told her mother about them, she seemed hesitant. Marguerite was good at reading faces. There was something her mom wasn't telling her.

Maybe she was bipolar after all.

It was one day, at a family party, that she finally starting gathering the puzzle pieces that were missing in her life. She had been looking around, marveling at how she was the only red head in her family. She really didn't look like anyone. Even her own mother. They were all blonde hair and blue eyes and perfect. And she was auburn and green, with curves and freckles. It didn't make any sense to her.

Of course, being intelligent, she had wondered if she was adopted. But her mother had never mentioned anything about it. Even now that she was almost sixteen, nothing had been said or even hinted at. She was content to believe that she was just different.

She had gone home that night sleepy and content, happy with the family she had been given.

The next morning, she continued the task of three months she had been helping her mother with. Cleaning the attic. They had sorted through all the old furniture, and were getting to the precious family stuff underneath. She had never known much about her family, and she was very curious.

She reached one chest, and pulled a photo album out of it's woodsy depths. She opened it to a picture taken almost exactly sixteen years ago. She found her mother and smiled. She was so pretty. Marguerite had always wished she looked like her. She knew this was the time her mother was about 7 months pregnant with her. She looked vaguely at her stomach. It was completely flat. She wondered how she had done it. Stayed so thin. You wouldn't think there even was a baby in there. She laughed to herself, and slid it back in.

For the rest of the day she was happy. She sorted through photos and heirlooms. But something was missing in those memories. It was only later that she realized it was her.

She woke up the next morning with a strange ache in her heart. She figured it was just her random feelings, but it felt odd. She didn't clean the attic that day.

Two months later, she had her sixteenth birthday party. All her friends from the dance academy were there, and all of her teenage cousins. It was one of the most fun days of her life.

But again, that feeling of confusion. Something was missing. Someone.

After the guests had gone home, she and her mother began cleaning up. Her mom seemed to have noticed she was down about something. She took away Marguerite's trash bag, and told her to sit down.

She asked her what was wrong.

Marguerite didn't answer. How could she tell her mother what was troubling her? How could she tell her that she wanted to know if she was adopted?

She sat there, and stared at her hands. Her mother looked genuinely concerned. She tried to coax it out of her, but Marguerite was too afraid of the answer to let her.

Her mother though, reading her all too open mind, caught what was wrong only moments after.

"Marguerite, you know that as your mother, I love you more than anything in this entire world. Don't you?"

Marguerite nodded.

"So you know, that no matter if I'm your REAL mother or not, that I will always love you that way? As my daughter?"

Marguerite began to cry. It was too much. Too much revelation for one day. She was adopted. And she hadn't even known until now.

Her mother told her the whole story without trying to comfort her. Marguerite had thought that her real parents had died, and that's why she had been up for adoption in the first place. But when she found out that her real family was alive and well, that they were living in California, she simply couldn't believe it.

Her mom didn't try and make excuses for herself. She said simply, "I loved you from the moment I saw you, and though I didn't carry you in me, didn't go through the pain of bringing you into this world, I love you past the stars and back, and always will." She kissed her on the top of her head, and stood back to look at her.

Marguerite didn't know what to say. Surely she didn't think that they could both go on as normal. Surely she didn't think that Marguerite didn't want to get in touch with her real family.

She asked her mother if she had permission. Her mother replied that she hadn't seen or spoken to her real family in years, that the only reason she had known that they lived in Los Angeles was from an e-mail Marguerite's real mother had sent out, explaining the address change to friends and family.

Marguerite sat there, not quite sure what she was to do. Her mother hadn't satisfied her burning curiosity just yet.

"Mom, you know I have to meet them. To find out if they... well, you know."

Her mother's face fell, but being wise in the workings of her daughter's mind, she nodded.

Twenty minutes later, Marguerite had the address. And the full intention of making it to California.

She finished her academy work, knowing her dance teachers would sponsor her to move up to a more advanced school. She chose the one only minutes away from the Palm Woods.

She applied online to become part of the hotel's paid residence. They accepted her as a dancer, and she was packing her bags six months after she turned 16.

She knew it was a big step, and an even bigger risk. But it was one that she had to take. It was one that she couldn't afford to lose.

**Yup, a little inside of her life before Kendall. Short. Yup. The remaining two or three won't be too long.**

**If you care to review, you'll make me very happy. ^-^**

**xoxo**

**~Starbucks**


	9. Chapter 9

"Cheer up already! It's been a month! How much longer are you going to be down in the dumps?"

Carlos shook Kendall very hard, at least until he could hear Kendall's eyes rattle around a little. Kendall just slumped back in his seat and shrugged.

"You are aware that now, it's not just yourself that's being deprived because of this whole Marguerite thing? That the band, and our careers, are in jeopardy?" Logan informed him.

Kendall raised his eyes, but said nothing.

"Are we missing something?" James asked, leaning against the wall.

"Clearly, we are."

"Say something!" Carlos screamed.

Kendall shrugged again. "What can I say? You know, I'm seventeen years old, and from birth, I've only known about one little sister, but never two. How would you feel, if you found out you had a twin, and that you've lost almost two decades of loving her, and getting to know her?"

"Look, we'd be upset, alright? But you haven't seen or talked to the girl in weeks, so how do you expect to make up for lost time by sitting around moping?"

"What can I do, James? I'm practically never allowed to see her again, so excuse me for being 'mopey'."

"You're mom never really said you couldn't see her again. After she told you about everything, did she say anything about YOU not being a part of her life?"

"Not really... Not explicitly... But what does that have to do with anything, Carlos?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Then why'd you bring it up?"

"I thought you'd be motivated. Come up with a plan or something." Carlos shrugged.

"Well, I don't think plans are really gonna work this time."

"Then what will? You're telling me, that you are gonna give up your dreams, your life here in Cali, and everything you've worked for, by sitting around watching it disappear, all for a girl?"

"She's my twin!" Kendall said loudly, standing up.

"Then go to her!" James yelled back.

They stood facing each other for a moment, fists clenched, breathing hard.

"Fine," Kendall said, hanging his head, and practically running out the door.

He knocked very hard on her apartment door. He felt like throwing up. No-one answered. He knocked and knocked.

"Marguerite, I know you're in there! I can't run anymore, please, just answer the door..."

She threw the door open. She looked very pale and nervous. The door was cracked in such a way so that he couldn't see into the apartment. He tried to peer around her shoulder, but she just shut the door on her foot in her haste to block his view. He put out a hand to steady her as she teetered on her tiptoes, face contorted in pain. She let out a hushed "ow" as she slipped out the door, slamming it shut behind her. She looked at him angrily.

"Why are you here? You already destroyed my life, so why bother?"

"Destroyed your life?"

"I came here, to Hollywood, for you! For Katie, for m-m-m..." She took a deep breath. "For Mom. For my family. I want my family, can't you see that?"

"I know..." He scratched his forehead. His mother had been going on as if life were normal again, and Kendall knew it was because she had trained her mind to drown out Marguerite, because the guilt of giving up her baby was slowly killing her. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he could possibly say to his sister to help her feel better. To make things right. So he stayed silent. She didn't cry, and it made him feel a little better.

"Could... could you just come inside, and... talk? To me for a little bit?"

He smiled. And nodded, and followed her inside.

Her apartment was eerily clean. Too clean too sit down on the couch and put his feet up. So he sat on the edge stiffly and tried to look interested at the abstract paintings of dancers on the wall. He peered at her discreetly, but she only sat down on the floor and told him to loosen up. He didn't say a word, only did as she wanted.

She cleared her throat. "So I guess you better start at the beginning."

He just stared at her. "What?"

"Start at the beginning. I think the earliest memory you have will do."

He was still stumped. Not wishing to look like an idiot he cleared his throat. But didn't know what to say.

"Tell me about YOU, Kendall. Everything. Your life, friends, crushes, girlfriends, your favorite teacher, your favorite subject, you favorite COLOR! Everything. Starting with your earliest memory."

Kendall smiled and began.

They talked for a long time. He told her about his life, or what he could remember of it anyway, and she told him of hers. They both tried to imagine what life would've been like with each other.

"You're a hockey player?" she laughed. "Wow, I would never have known."

Kendall threw his chest out and said as manly as he could, "Because I look too strong to play? I mean I do hurt the other players with my brute strength..."

Marguerite laughed and laughed. Kendall drunk in her smile.

"Why are you here? Why did you leave Minnesota?"

"Well, I came here because I was given an opportunity to follow a lesser dream. Singing, performing, playing music." He shrugged and smiled. "I just never thought I would love it as much as I do."

"That's great! It seems like your life has been all smiles and hugs." Her smile was a little weak. "I'm so happy."

"Oh, believe me, it's had its downsides."

"Oh? Like what?"

"The usual. Heartbreak, letdowns, things not meeting your expectations..."

"Yeah. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I mean, just think. If I hadn't have gone to that private dance school I would've probably been in your class at your school. We could've known each other as friends and not known we were twins. How weird would that have been?"

"Yeah." But a little part of Kendall wished she had gone to his school, wished he could've known her before now. Maybe they would be able to take it all in more easily. Or maybe not. They would never know.

"What about you, though? I mean, I know you went to dance school and all. But what about your family? Your... erm, well your other family?"

She shrugged. "Something nagging me in the back of my mind always told me something wasn't right. I mean, they were all like eighty-percent Swedish. Tall and thin, blonde and blue-eyed. I think you can picture my uneasiness as I got older," she replied, gesturing to her dark red hair and freckles.

"Yeah," Kendall said slowly. "So... you always knew? Or you kind of knew? That you were adopted?"

"Kind of. I mean, at sixteen, you try not to think of serious stuff. I guess I hit seventeen and everything was suddenly glaring and begging to be questioned." She shrugged again. "It was gonna happen eventually."

"I guess you're right." He rubbed his arm sheepishly. "Hey. Can I ask you a... a question?"

"Anything."

"Do you miss them a lot?"

"My family back in Minnesota?"

"Uh-huh."

"My mom. A lot. My cousin Carly. She's my age. Only girl in her family." She smiled. "She's great. Like the sister I never knew I had."

Kendall decided now was as good a time as any to say what she probably had been wanting to hear since day one. Some kind of explanation past the one her own mother had been able to give her.

"Marguerite, I am so sorry. That mom didn't... that she doesn't... I mean, she doesn't not want you, that's not it at all..."

"Kendall, it's alright. I got as much a character profile from my mom as I need. I know it was hard for her, and I know she would do anything to forget about it. I just hope some day..." Her lip quivered. She shook her head. "I hope some day, we can be friends. She's everything I thought she would be."

Kendall found tears pricking his eyes again. He would not cry. Not in front of her.

"Don't cry, sweetheart," she said, rubbing his knee and giving him a smile. "I'm glad I have you, though. You're not gonna run out on me again, are you?"

"No," he said, putting his hand on top of hers. "Never again. I promise. I swear."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10! So noone really gave me any ideas for this one... But no worries! I got over my writer's block. :) **

**Enjoy!**

After Jo left, Kendall found himself forgetful of Marguerite for a few weeks. He hardly spoke to her, he didn't go to her apartment, because you know, he'd been doing that a lot without permission. He just sort of sat around, and even after their summer single's release, he still found himself down in the dumps. Marguerite called him a lot though, because she had questions about Katie. Kendall wasn't jealous. I mean, she was his twin, but Katie was still her sister, and she had every right to know every detail about her. So Katie started going over to Marguerite's. Kendall assumed his mom had finally given in, because once Kendall had convinced Mrs. Knight that Katie needed to know, Mrs. Knight had become sort of defeated about the whole thing. She let Katie go over as often as she wanted, she didn't restrict them, as long as her kids told her where they'd be, they were allowed to. So as far as Kendall was knew, Katie and Marguerite were thick as thieves by now.

It was about three weeks later when Kendal felt that gaping hole in his heart resurface. He decided today was as good a day as any to go over and check on Marguerite. He just felt guilty about not having done it for so long.

Except now, with Marguerite being completely known about in 2J, the guys wanted to come and be introduced. Mrs. Knight was against it, and Kendall knew why. Because she didn't want the boys to look at her differently, to think less of her. But they didn't, even after knowing about Marguerite, and they convinced her that it was a good idea. After they left, she went to her room to look at baby pictures of the twins, the ones Kendall never got to see.

Kendall rapped hard on her door, feeling in high spirits. Marguerite opened it, and beamed.

"Kenny!" she said, throwing her arms around his neck. Kendall hugged her very hard. The rest of the guys just sort of lingered in the background. When they broke apart, Marguerite's green eyes wandered over to them.

"Oh my gosh! You must be the rest of the band! It's ridiculous how much Kendall talks about you."

"Well, it's great to meet you," Logan said, sticking out his hand, and giving her a winning smile. "I'm Logan."

"The doctor, right? Well, future doctor." She smiled.

"Yup, that's me," Logan replied proudly.

"And I'm Carlos," Carlos said over Logan, shaking Marguerite's hand. "It's great to meet you."

"It's great to meet you too!" Marguerite said.

James hadn't said anything. Marguerite looked at him for a moment. "And you're James," she said, with conviction.

"Yes," James said breathlessly.

"Well, it's great to meet you all. I can actually put faces with the personalities now," she laughed, her eyes lingering a little on James. "Come in, all of you."

They went in. Katie was sitting on the floor with a rootbeer. Her eyes were red.

"Hey, Katie," Carlos said, ruffling Katie's hair.

"Hey, Carlos."

"Hey, baby sister. When'd you get here?" Kendall asked, kissing her on the top of her head. He sat down on the couch behind her.

"This morning." She blinked a few tears out of her eyes.

Kendall frowned. "What's wrong?"

Katie looked at Marguerite for a long time, and Marguerite looked at her.

"Nothing," Katie said quietly, after a while, her eyes dropping to the floor.

"Okaaaaay," Kendall said, scrunching his eye brows.

At this exchange, the room had become silent. Carlos was looking at Katie. Katie was looking at Marguerite, and so was James. Logan was looking at Kendall, and Kendall was looking at everyone. Marguerite was looking at a wall.

"Well, anyone hungry? Waffles?" Marguerite asked cheerily.

Carlos whooped. James fist pumped, but sheepishly, smiling at Marguerite. Katie wiped her eyes. Logan saw.

"I'll help you," Kendall said in a low voice, following Marguerite into the kitchen. When they got there, he leaned on the counter, and gave her a "look". It took her a moment to notice him, she was too busy pulling out the waffle maker. When she did look his way, she leaned against the counter, and mirrored him, expression executed to a T.

"Stop," Kendall said through a smile. "It's not funny."

"Really? I thought it was." She shrugged and grinned.

Kendall watched her move around the kitchen for a while. Then he asked, "What did you tell Katie? Why is she crying?"

Marguerite continued to bustle around the kitchen. Kendall reached out and grabbed her arm. She stopped, looking at his hand.

"Tell me."

Marguerite stayed very still. Kendall heard a barely audible sigh. Then she limped a little over to him. He hadn't noticed she was before. She pulled up her pants leg. She was wearing a cast from her ankle to her knee.

"What happened?" Kendall exclaimed, jumping down from the counter.

"I broke my leg. About a month ago."

"Broke it? Like... how bad?"

She turned away. "Really bad."

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. It'll heal."

"Well, good. Now..." He scratched his head. "Is Katie crying because you broke your leg? That doesn't sound like her at ALL."

Marguerite's laugh was a little forced. "No, she just asked me how it happened." She shrugged. "I was working it too hard dancing. And then one day at rehearsal I twisted it a little more than it was meant to be twisted, and..." She smiled sadly. "Snap."

"It'll heal though! You'll be back on that stage in no time. What is it six weeks?"

"Kendall, I-"

"Or is it eight? But then you just get your cast off, right? You still have to wait for-"

"Kendall, I'm not dancing anymore!"

Kendall stopped his jabbering. He stopped everything. Marguerite was crying now.

"I broke it in five places. It'll never heal enough for me to be able to dance again. Ever."

Kendall stood there, with his mouth open. He didn't know what to say.

"I told my dance instructor and she was pretty upset. I had a big performance coming up, and now she's gotta find a new prima."

"But... but there must be _something_ we can do! Something _anyone_ can do!"

Marguerite leaned against him. "There isn't."

Kendall was shell-shocked. He knew how much she had loved dancing. He had seen the happiness in her face when she even talked about it. Now to see this dull emptiness in her eyes, to not see a shred of emotion in her face, save the few tears now chasing each other down her face, was almost too much for him to bear.

Marguerite took a deep breath. "Katie was sorry too."

"So, that's what she was crying about?"

"Not quite."

Kendall almost groaned. Worse? What could possibly be worse than this?

The waffle maker lay forgotten on the counter. He could hear the antics of the guys in the living room, and Katie's ringing laugh, but none of it mattered. He was hanging on the next words that would come out of Marguerite's mouth.

"The ballet school has dismissed me, since I'm practically worthless now. Since I'm out of a job, the Palm Woods is evicting me in a week. I'm going back to Minnesota."

Kendall thought this must be some very elaborate joke. I mean, no, Katie couldn't cry on demand, but maybe she had learned how to to give Kendall the biggest fooling of his life. Seemed a little too elaborate...

Maybe she was serious. But Kendall was a good person! What could he have possibly done in his life to deserve such a horrible punishment?

"Kendall?" Marguerite asked in a soft voice. "Are you OK? You look a little dizzy. Here, sit back down." She guided him by his shoulders to a kitchen chair. He sat down heavily.

"Are you... Are you serious Marguerite? This isn't some kind of sick joke Katie came up with?" He was really kidding himself. Her eyes answered his question before her tongue did.

"Yeah," she answered quietly. "Not a joke. I would never... not about this."

Kendall nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. What on earth could he say to comfort her? She was obviously very upset.

"Marguerite... I'm so sorry. I really don't want you to go." Kendall felt tiny little tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

She sniffed. "I'm sorry too. I don't want to leave. I just found my family. The last thing I want to go back to is a lie." She wiped her eyes. " I mean, I love them and all, but now that I have you and Katie? I don't think I could ever look at them the same way."

"I know what you mean."

They both sat in silence, each wondering who would cry first. Neither of them did. He knew crying would only make it worse. So instead of focusing his energy on the waterworks, he started using it in the best possible way. In a planning way. In a scheming way. He knew the goal. Marguerite staying in town. He had no idea how to reach that goal, but he was Kendall Knight. He would figure it out.

:**) Hope you liked it! Review and tell me exactly, and in detail, everything you liked and didn't like. Thank you in advance. ^-^**

**Til next time.**

**xoxoxoxo**

**~Starbucks**

**P.S. This isn't the last chapter. I decided to extend it a few more. :D  
**


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